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MOEBIUS MUSINGS
                              by Kevin Smant
 

Welcome to all the new people, whose addys have just been added to this
list.

So today's topic is "contradictions."  Ever noticed how ordinary life
can be full of them?  Life...and many things within life.  Moebius
Syndrome, even.

How so?  I'll get to that.  But it really hit me when I was walking the
mall last night.  Yes, I've become a bit of a mall walker.  It's good
exercise.  We have a nice big place here called University Park Mall (in
South Bend, IN).  Like I said:  big!  If I walk around it five times,
that takes about an hour.  That should mean over two miles of walking
(normal walking speed for most: 2.5 mph).  Whew!  (I guess that's why
often I just do four times around).

You learn a lot walking at the mall.  About contradictions.  Think about
it.

I go to a mall several times a week.  But I rarely buy anything.  (but
it's hard sometimes to pass by the bookstore or the food stands).
Contradictions.

If you go in the morning or afternoon, you see senior citizen couples.
They're walking too.  (Am I getting old?  Nah, we just know good
exercise when we see it!.)  They're moving fast.  They walk at a faster
pace than I do.  Hey, slow down!

If you go in the evening, you see packs of 4 or 5 teenagers.  Funny;
they're much younger.  But they don't walk nearly as fast.  (Are they
too busy strutting?)  Contradictions.

There are many couples at the mall.  Just different kinds.  There are
young parents.  But they're not walking, really; they're
pushing---babies in a stroller, that is.  The babies wave gaily at you
as you pass by.  Hi!

There are moms, with their teen-aged children.  They're not quite as
gay.  Mom usually is walking towards a clothing store.  Teen-aged sons
would rather be walking towards anyplace else.  Teen-aged daughters
don't mind the clothes.  But they want to buy different clothes than
does mom.  I catch this in snippets of conversation.  "You really need
new pants."  "But I don't like those."

You want couples?  There are lots of dating couples at the mall.  You
can tell.  They hold hands.  They're smiling at each other.  When the
guy tells a bad joke, his girlfriend punches him.  The harder she
punches, the closer they are. It's a cheap date.  Many of them wind up
checking out the Victoria's Secret store.  The girls keep the guys away
from the sporting goods stores, though.  Couples.  Different kinds.
Contradictions...

There are many.  So many smells at the mall!  Good ones---perfumes and
fragrances and colognes; the smell of beef and chicken and rice and
vegetables cooking, not to mention that of cinnamon buns.  Yum!  A few
paces more.  Ugh, what's that?  "Elite Nails"...a nail polish shop!
Phew.  (but then, I'm a guy.)  Contradictions...

There's a cell phone craze in this country.  You can see it at the mall.
There are kiosks selling phones and free minutes, stores selling them.
There's Verizon and Centennial and AT&T and...  Look, there's a man
talking to a rep at the Centennial desk.  He's talking into a cellphone,
asking the person at the other end of the line if he should buy ANOTHER
cell phone.  Contradictions?  Or madness, take your pick...

There's a number of us walking at the mall.  Hey, it's good for you!
Good exercise!!  There's also a whole bunch of food stands in the food
court.  Diet busters all!  There's a Dairy Queen.  Ever had a pecan
mudslide?  Contradictions...

(I could just avoid walking in the food court.  Nah!)

Look, speaking of the food court, here we are by a McDonald's.  Boy,
McDonald's gets a tough rap these days.  Doesn't it?  McD's food, they
say, is bad for you.  It's too greasy.  It's too salty.  Too much meat.
Too many carbs.  It's hamburgers and fries clog up your arteries and
make you fat.  In the last ten years, this view has been all over the
place.  All over TV and the news media.  Right?

Funny thing.  I'm in the food court.  I look around.  Which place always
has the longest line, no matter what time of day?  Which place has the
most people lining up to buy their food?

McDonald's.  Go figure.  Contradictions...

There are many contradictions in life.  You find them within Moebius
Syndrome and all connected with it, too.  In this column I celebrate
doing and achievement.  Right?  I've said that many times.  So do other
writers, who are many and who write very well.  (you guys ever read
Natalie Abbott's stuff?  You should.  You can find 3 things here):

http://www.geocities.com/sandygo4it/messages_index.html

We are special.  Get out there.  Do things.  I say that.  Others say
that.  And we're right.  But:

Sometimes I get e-mails.  They read my stuff and they want someone to
talk to.  I'm glad I can be that kind of sounding board.  But sometimes
the e-mails contain tough stuff.  I think of one I got a couple months
ago.  It came from a parent of a Moebius child.  The child was having
trouble in school.  The headmaster and other administrators in the
school weren't being helpful.  They didn't understand Moebius.  They
didn't seem to want to.  One of them said something about kids and
people with Moebius "will never amount to anything anyway."

Sure, get out there, we say.  And we're right.  But it can be tough.
The stares.  The negativity.  Even though we're just people trying to do
our best.  Contradictions...

Other writers with Moebius say:  maybe we have special wisdom.  That who
we are has given us special insight and knowledge about life.  I think
they're right.  But there's a cost.  Some out there in the world don't
like difference.  They stare.  They scowl.  They won't date us or marry
us.  Many of us---though not all---are not married.  That can mean
loneliness.

Wisdom?  Maybe.  But once in a great while, who among us has not wished
to be "normal"?  Whatever that is.  For just a little while.
Contradictions...

It's at that moment that my buddy Goldie the cat usually comes nosing
about.  (By the way a new pic of Goldie and his cat buddy Mr. T. will be
going up soon on the site.)  I've talked about him before.  You can
learn a lot from cats.  It's spring, so these days Goldie spends a lot
of time staring out the window.  Intensely.  He hears birds singing and
calling.  He's trying to watch them.  He looks like Sylvester spying on
Tweety bird. 

When I'm home cleaning and taking out the trash, he likes to go outside.
For maybe up to an hour he'll hide in a bush nearby and watch his bird
friends.

He's never caught one.  I don't know that he's trying.  I don't know
that he'd know what to do with a bird if he caught one!  But he never
tires of his, er, "hunt."  Contradictions...

But then, maybe catching something isn't what's important.  Maybe it's
just the living that's important.  Maybe it's his home, his food, his
water, his fellow cat pals, that's important.  Maybe never giving up is
what's important.  Surely there are analogies there for us---our homes,
our friends, the lives that we've carved out, doing what we enjoy...

No matter the negatives, we all have that.

Cats!  If you're not careful, you'll learn something from 'em before
you're done....

Moebius Syndrome Conference 2004!  In Texas.  A long way away for many
of you.  Expensive.  A hassle.  But so worth it!---the people, the
information, the lifelong friendships.  You adults with Moebius.  You
can really help people.  But the long trip!  What a pain.
Contradictions again...Aaagh!  Just come!! :+)

See you there...

Kevin Smant
Dept of History
Indiana University South Bend


Kevin